Today I let down my best friend.

Earlier this week I attended a new class with my Aussie, Dexter. We are new to Competition Obedience. This sport has always interested me, so I thought it might be fun for us to learn more and maybe compete one day.

Today was our first day. I was really looking forward to meeting a new trainer. She sounded great on the phone. We entered the building and walked through reception. I happened to glance down on the desk where two books were laid out. One was by Caesar Milan and the other was 'The Art of Raising a Puppy' by The Monks of New Skeet. This should have been my red flag to 'get the hell out of Dodge'. Mistake #1.

The new location was loud as it also served as a day care and boarding facility. It had plenty of new smells and lots of new dogs. Dexter, entering maturity, has become not as relaxed as he once was in new situations and takes a while to adjust. That morning, I could see the stress starting to appear on his face. While he was still curious of his surroundings, he was anxious and a little easily-spooked. I wanted to give him time to acclimate, so we played some tug, ran and played 'Touch', yet he could not focus and was pulling like crazy. When I asked him to perform a task, he had no focus and the more I asked, the more I could see he was stressing; he was crumbling, he was shutting down.

I became frustrated, impatient and embarrassed. I wanted to work my dog, so I returned to my car to retrieve my flat pinch collar, which I use sometimes in class for pulling. We returned to class. The trainer told me that my collar was not the right size and to use a smaller one she had. I politely agreed, even though I had used this one for over a year. I applied the smaller, sharper collar as she suggested. Mistake #2.

Note: I will use a pinch collar if and when I need one. I use only light pressure on and off, no hard corrections. Uncomfortable - yes. Stressful - no.

The trainer approached and we started to chat. I was excited to learn from her and a little nervous. I informed her that my dog was having a hard time and was shutting down. She replied that my dog was not shut down and that he was just curious and was dismissing me as the pack leader. Red flag! I should have run out of the door right then. I didn't agree with what she was saying, but decided it was not the time or the place to debate this.

While dogs are often very still when shut down, they also can be in motion. I know my dog. I know a shut down dog!

When a dog is shut down, you will find:

• Dog is unresponsive to stimuli
• Not responsive when spoken to or touched
• Reacts slowly or not at all
• Frequently avoids eye contact

Finally, my dog started to relax somewhat and to respond to behavior cues. However, he was awkward, slow and distracted. We muddled through. We stood in line, watching the trainer handle a young Labradoole. The dog also wore a pinch collar. Every time the dog looked away, she would use a sharp pop of the collar. This went on for a minute or so, until the dog looked up at her for the length of time she wanted and released. I saw the goofy, sad look on the dog's face. You could see the sad look on my face. I wanted to leave. I should have left. Mistake #3. I have no problems with correcting a dog, but this was too punitive for me.

The class was now working on the moving 'Heel' command. Dexter and I were doing our thing, he had no focus, we were a mess. The trainer approached me and said. “Give me your dog”. I acquiesced. BIG Mistake #4. She asked Dexter to sit and he did. She then asked him to focus with 'Heel'. She held the leash tight and high, moving his head up to look at her. He refused, moving his head back down. "Heel!" She pops the collar. No response. "Heel!" Pop. "Heel!" Pop. The leash got tighter. Finally, my dog started to fight. He flipped around like a fish on a line. His eyes finally looking into mine in a state of panic and confusion. I ran and screamed. "STOP! Give me my dog!", tears filling up in my eyes. "I do not want my dog trained this way!" My dog then laid down by my side. He had completely shut down.

The trainer, now pissed off but calm, needed to justify and explain to me why my dog had just flipped out. She claimed my dog was fighting her and she was not fighting him. She said that my dog knew I was not the 'packer' and that he called the shots, that his reaction was because she was making him do something he did not want to do. I was not convinced by the trainer's explanation because I had seen the look on my dog's face-- and he was scared!

She could see the anger on my face. She tried to explain to me, or rather rationalize, why she trains this way. “Do you think these dogs enjoy doing 'Rally' or 'Obedience'? Of course not. We make them do it and then we pay them. It's a balance. That how is works. If you think you are going to win using no force, you are wrong and will never get anywhere. Everyone uses force”. I replied, "Is that so? If that is how I have to train, I would rather not do it." And with that, I took the dog and left,  mentally exhausted. My dog jumped straight in the car, laid down and passed out, more mentally exhausted than me. Had I shown him who the pack leader was, or now caused a fear response to training classes and strangers?

How could I have allowed this to happen to my best friend. I felt terrible. I felt ashamed.

After that, I made my dog a promise: I will never allow a trainer to take my dog's leash EVER again. I trusted this trainer. The trainer with the great reviews, the trainer who won 'Best Dog Trainer' in her area, the trainer who came in first in their shows, the trainer who has so much more experience in training competition dogs than I do, the trainer who wants to win so bad that she seems to have lost sight of how the dogs feel.

She was so focused on the game, yes GAME, that the dog's emotional and physical well-being don't mean much to her anymore. That's sad. Yes, you can make a dog do something they don't want to do, but is that teamwork? No! Maybe we will never come in first in our competitions, but that's okay for me and certainly okay for my dog.

Lessons learned: 

• Don’t always trust the person who is teaching your dog.
• Don’t be afraid of saying "STOP" or "I do not like what you are doing".
• Go with your gut when things do not feel right because you are your dog's advocate!

Dawn and Dex the Aussie